Top 5 Most Annoying People on My Way to Work Today

1) The woman in front of me on the coffee line who ordered the fancy latte decaf skim chai bullshit. Hey, I want regular coffee and I dont want to be late, that thing you're ordering takes about forty-five minutes to make, come back later.

2) The guy who tried to hand me an AM Daily relentlessly and then looked pissed and confused when i refused. Listen, I dont want your dirty rag. Maybe if the sports section was better, then i would take it. thats a good idea actually, a daily free paper thats all sports. hmmm. no one steal that.

3) The guy whistling on the subway platform. What are you, working on the railroad? Shut up.

4) The author of the book i'm reading. What's going on with this plot? Nothing's happening. Lets get some development, you're just spinning wheels here.

5) The woman who held the elevator door open and then let in seven people. Then she got off at the third floor. You bitch! Next time, you should ask everyone else in the elevator if they feel like being nice and holding the doors, maybe take a quick poll, I work on the top floor, so i vote no.